Discipline — Why it’s Greater Later.
“Nobody wants to tell you why discipline is so important. Discipline is the strongest form of self-love. It is ignoring current pleasures for bigger rewards to come. It’s loving yourself enough to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted.”
Photograph By: Taylor S. Hunter
If you’ve wondered where I’ve been for the past 5 months...LET. ME. TELL. YOU. I’ve been learning — and by learning I mean going through the early stages of being molded into the person that I am destined to become. It’s funny, life has a way of slowing you down right in the middle of everything speeding up around you. You don’t see it coming and it may catch you by surprise, but boy when it does, please don’t miss it.
For the longest, discipline felt like this HUGE sacrifice. I remember talking to my therapist and telling her that I was “so frustrated” because it felt like I was doing all of the sacrificing and not seeing the fruits of my labor. Yes, I too am guilty of making small changes and expecting instantaneous results. So, maybe you’re currently feeling the same or maybe you’re simply curious and wanting to know more about my experience with discipline. Regardless, it’s time to stop riding the fence and take control. My hope is that by sharing observations from my experience, you will feel inclined to kickstart your very own journey — and take it seriously at that.
Do what works for your circumstances — emphasis on your
This is first and foremost. Often times, we learn about other people’s systems and assume that we will yield the same results if applied to our own life. Negative. Everyone’s process is different because our circumstances are typically different. For example, someone who is a freelancer working gig to gig and budgeting to survive is living a completely different life than someone who is making a $60,000 salary with benefits. If fitness is a mutual goal, one can afford a gym membership and the other has to get it popping in their local park (trust me, I’ve been there). These are two completely different processes that both require discipline to produce a similar end result. Considering your circumstances is also key to identifying a realistic approach with where you should begin. Be practical with yourself, decide what is attainable for where you are and start there.
Check your habits & Create a routine
I know, we all cringe at the idea of a routine. However, the root of our struggle with discipline can typically be found in the small decisions/actions that we repeat habitually. Identifying what those habits are is the first step. You want to get to work on time, but you set your alarm an hour before you need to walk out of the door and snooze it twice before actually getting out of bed. Not only are you frazzled and rushing to work, but now you’ve skipped breakfast and use coffee as a meal replacement. Very detailed description yes, which may or may not have been my morning routine at some point. What I’m saying is, one small habit can literally create a domino effect in your life.
The reality of remaining disciplined is that small habits lead to big results. For instance, growing spiritually is a priority of mine. In order to do so, I must set aside intentional time to create and maintain intimacy with God. Considering my circumstances, morning time is the best time to do so. This means that I must get up about an hour to an hour and a half prior to the time I actually begin getting ready for work. This also means that I must (because sleep is a non-negotiable for me) be in bed at a specific time. After a few weeks of sticking to this schedule, I was able to incorporate breakfast AND time to pray + meditate before being thrown into the hustle and bustle of my day. Now, I won’t act like I get this routine perfect every day, but I’ve made clear progress which has sparked changes in other areas.*
Say No
Now, for the elephant in the room. You can’t do everything. You have to say no. Period. This has probably taken me the longest to truly understand, but I am definitely getting the hang of it. While discipline is extremely disruptive to our normalcy, it’s totally fine because if you’re like me, settling for normal is no longer an option. By no means am I saying that you shouldn’t enjoy life and live under a rock, but again, circumstances. It all boils down to how bad you want it. If saving for a new car is your goal you just may not be able to attend every Sunday brunch or tropical vacation with friends. However, planning ahead of time and budgeting X amount weekly to still enjoy your daily coffee and occasional dinner with friends will suffice in the meantime. For me, discipline is about checks and balances -- How can I achieve Goal A. without putting a stop to every single thing that brings me joy.
When I reflect on how far I’ve come it makes me proud. Proud, because I am in complete control over the direction of my life and have chosen to make the necessary changes and follow-through on them. If while reading this you felt a tug or push to make adjustments in your own life, do it. It may not be perfect the first time, but keep at it. Don’t try to make a bunch of drastic changes at once either, find that one thing and steward over it. You’ll tackle one area and begin to watch it spread like wildfire.
